Throw everything you think you know about dating single mothers out the window…
1. Her ex may still be in the picture: For many single mothers, it’s likely that the father of her child will continue to build a relationship with her little one. Whether she gets along with him or not, stay cool. At the end of the day, it’s about the children. Not some over-the-top adult drama.
2. The only games she’s interested in are her children’s soccer games.
3. Be willing to watch Frozen, even if its 16 sing-a-long songs make you want to throw something. Rated R movies are out of the question and PG-13 is pushing it. It’s all about taking one for the team people…
4. Throw everything you know about scheduling out the window. You’re at the mercy of custody agreements, the periodic stuffy nose, boom booms at the playground and whether or not her child woke up on the right side of the bed…
5. The days of getting “white girl wasted” are over. Good babysitters come at a high cost these days, are hard to find and should be treated like a rare commodity. That means no staying out all night. They have lives too.
6. We’re not all damsels in distress. Riding in on a white horse, expecting us to fall grateful at your feet is a turnoff. Many single moms are quite independent, happy with who they are and simply looking for a friend and companion.
7. It’s a package deal! Even if the child’s father is still in the picture, any woman with sense will be looking for a good male role model for her kids. Not a boy toy, sugar daddy or mooch. The kids may not be feeling it at first. Or, maybe they may like you a lot. But with the right single mom and the right kids, the reward of getting involved in their lives can be well worth the risk.
8. You’ll have to work to gain her trust. Chances are she’s been hurt in the past and will do whatever in her power to avoid that happening again. After all, it’s not just about her needs anymore, but about the well being, safety and happiness of who she holds dearest… her kids. Be patient. Find out where she feels most vulnerable and don’t hesitate to reassure her.
9. Should you gain her trust, single mothers are loyal and committed. They have a vested interest in making things work for themselves and their families. They expect the same loyalty and commitment in return.
10. Society has created a bad ass stigma about women who stick it out, stay committed, and work like hell to raise their kids alone. Don’t assume you know what she’s been through or going through. Celebrate her strength. Don’t begrudge it. See her not as a broken woman, but as the powerful, overworked, superwoman she is.