By

pillows

I’ve heard and read many stories about women who fake orgasms.   I’ve also never understood this.  Why would you fake an orgasm when you can have the real thing?

I guess this needs further discussion to understand these actions.  I will admit that in my early days, with very limited experience, I had no clue what an orgasm really was until I really had an orgasm.  Is this what most women face?  Do women fake orgasms because they are simply ready for the experience to be over with their partner, or because they simply just don’t know what it feels like to have a real orgasm?  Do you fake this action because you’re not comfortable telling your lover what you want or telling him how to please you?  Are you embarrassed because your lover was inadequate?  Was the experience painful or agonizing?

Needless to say, if an experience brings pain that cannot be transferred to pleasure, it makes the trip to O land very long and excruciating.  Surely, this is a definite reason one may fake and orgasm.  For the novice lover, it may just be from a lack of experience or knowledge.  In some cultures, discussions about sex were always so taboo for so many years.  This should not be the case.  I think women should be in tuned with their bodies and know what triggers their sexual needs.  Why not masturbate to know what it takes to please you?  Some women feel embarrassed about masturbating.  How will you be able to share with your lover what pleases you when you don’t know what does?  This begins the dialogue where women should be able to communicate with their lover what they want in the bedroom.

Other factors can play a role in this as well, such as casual sex versus sex within a relationship.  It should be easier to communicate your needs while in a relationship.  If you are not able to communicate with your lover about your sexual needs, then you may have to evaluate the status of that relationship.  It goes without saying that good, healthy sexual relations are a vital part of a lasting relationship.  If you have a vested interest to making things in the relationship work, then invest in what is takes for you to achieve the sexual satisfaction you deserve.  Make it a mandatory occurrence for you to achieve your O during your sexual interactions.  Once you receive that satisfaction, you will no longer want to fake an orgasm.  If you’re with a partner who is selfish and has no interest in providing you sexual satisfaction, then this is another instance for you to evaluate the status of the relationship. For the inexperienced one, continue to explore yourself by yourself or with your lover to achieve your O.   In casual instances or one-night stands, it is much easier to fake the O, cut your losses, and keep it moving with a lover who was less than satisfactory.  Maybe during your one-night stands, you will find that one who is willing to take you to that pinnacle that will result in relations where you no longer have to fake it until you make it.

Now, what about the inadequate lover?  Some women fake having orgasms with their partners who climax quickly.  In this case she does not want her lover to be embarrassed because he made it to the finish line in a couple of minutes.   You’re not doing yourself any favors if he thinks you are being satisfied.  Of course, in a casual instance or one-night stand you can move on to the next.  If this is your partner, you have to be honest with him so he can be aware of your needs.  Once he is aware, he can be more attentive by increasing foreplay or using other methods to bring you to orgasm before he even begins intercourse.

As women, we must take control of what we expect so that we achieve the expected outcome.  If you have never experienced a real orgasm, I encourage you to get one now!  If you’re with a selfish or unfulfilling lover, make the necessary changes to make it better or stop wasting your time!  If you can’t communicate with your lover what you want in the bedroom, stop wasting your time!  As I questioned before, why fake an orgasm when you can have the real thing?

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